Your Adult Children Still Need You

Dear Mom of  Adult Children,

When our children were young, we knew they needed us. This was made obvious by the tugging on our sweater so that they could get a snack. By the screaming for help when they got stuck at the top of the monkey bars on the playground and couldn't get down. By the 2:00 a.m. visits when they stood by your bed, sniffling and needing to climb in because they had a bad dream. There wasn't a doubt in our minds that they needed us. 

The teenage years were a bit more uncertain. Our teenagers wanted us to think they didn't need us. They began to assert their independence. They wanted to be able to make their own decisions. They stretched some boundaries, pushed their limits. Yet when they experienced heartbreak, when they lost a job, a pet, a friendship, they still turned to us. We sat up with them chatting about the challenges they faced and we encouraged them with what we hoped was the wisdom of life experience and with the knowledge that God is with them and cares for them. 

And now they are adults. They moved out, went to college, got jobs, went on holiday by themselves, had relationships. Those amazing beings that we raised for at least 18 years, now move in this uncertain world by themselves. But...are they truly by themselves? Not really. Because for those young adults who are blessed with moms who love them, our kids (Yeah, I know they're adults, but let's face it, they'll always be our kids.) will never walk alone. If they only knew the depth of love we have for them! The never-failing desire to help them any way we can. The sacrifices we have made and will continue to make for their happiness. How much their thoughts, their fears, their joys, their sorrows, occupy our prayers and our minds!

How many times have we stood and looked into the eyes of our adult child as s/he has been trying to navigate a particularly difficult path and you just wanted to make it easy for them? We want to smooth the way, to let them walk in that childish bliss in which they used to walk. But you can't, can you? You have to let them grow. You have to LET them experience pain. You have to let them make the mistakes that you know will have hard repercussions. You have to let them...well, grow up.

All of that being said, your adult kids still need you. Even when they're succeeding. Even when they get a good job, when they start their own families, when they flourish. THEY. STILL. NEED .YOU. It may not be in the same way. Of course you won't be wiping your twenty-three year old's nose! (That's just weird.) But they need you to be there for them. Cheering them on in the background, praying for them, talking to them, and just being someone that they know they can always count on. Momma, never, EVER discount that. Having someone in your corner when everything else around you seems to be changing so quickly is utterly invaluable. YOU are invaluable to your children. They may not acknowledge it now (or ever). But that steady presence, that encouragement and love is an anchor for them amongst life's worst storms. 

The best part in all of this? God knows your child and loves your child more than you ever have. He knows their heart and He is wise and good beyond all imagination. Entrust your adult children to Him. Keep them in your prayers daily. And walk with the sure knowledge that He will provide, no matter what happens.