On Narcissism and Heart Attacks

 I struggle, dear Reader, to know just how much to share on this blog and whether to even have a blog, to be honest. I think we human beings are so utterly narcissistic that we actually think that people want to know everything about us down to what kind of toothpaste we use. Why does anyone want to know about MY day? Is it arrogant and silly to think that people actually want to know my opinion on things? And yet, that's what writers do every day. That's what friends want to know about each other. That's how we live in community and fellowship. I know I have been encouraged by other people's blogs and their posts on social media. So it's always this conundrum for me. I think we dance on a razor's edge of narcissism and helpfulness. For me, it's that way, at least. 

That being said, here is an account (narcissistic or not.... 😉) of my morning today:

I had to go in for a stress test on my heart. (Nothing to worry about, they were just making sure I had one... *snickers at her terrible dad joke* ). I was terrified of this test for a number of reasons. First, I have terrible White Coat Syndrome (which should be treated as an actual syndrome, in my humble opinion because, trust me, it's VERY real). Second, they had to put an IV in so they could inject a radioactive dye which would help them take pictures of my heart. (I was kinda hoping it would also give me other special abilities (think Spi*derMan) but alas, no terrible lab accident happen and I can't shoot webs out of my hands.) My veins are NOT my friends in medical situations. They are tiny and deep and they run in fear when they see a needle break through the skin. Third, I was terrified of the treadmill. Now, I do use the elliptical and the upright bike very regularly but exercising in FRONT of people is not a fun thing for me. Also, having people attach weird wires all over me and then exercising with a blood pressure cuff on my arm is not my favourite thing. 

I have to say that, despite my fears, the test went really well. My blood pressure was wonky, as usual. 😒That was to be expected, seeing as I was in a *gasp* dreaded medical facility. The IV went in like a dream. LIKE A DREAM, I tell you! That lady was a vein magician! I think the next time I have to get bloodwork done I will kidnap her and bring her with me. And the treadmill? It was easy peasy! I thought I would be dying but it was totally fine. I'm so thankful! 

The part that wasn't great in all of this was that a man who went in right before me had a heart attack. Right after the treadmill portion. The ambulance came and took him away, the poor man. I felt so badly for him! The attendant assured me that he had other major medical complications, but that was not overly reassuring to me at that point. There were several other people there who were definitely struggling with some major health issues. All ages. All body sizes. 

I was reminded once again of the frailty of our lives. How our lives are in God's hands no matter what health we are in, how old we are, how much we exercise, etc. I was also reminded how important it is to look after our bodies to the best of our abilities. It was good for me in many ways. I am not brave. I don't laugh in the face of my fears. I sort of cower a bit, then tiptoe around them and hope that they won't notice me sneaking past. But I do trust in God, the maker of heaven and earth. And I thank Him for getting me through each day and for the body (and the heart!) He has given me. 

(This is a picture I took while in the "Radioactive Lounge". That sounds kinda like a bar that college kids hang out at. But it was mainly a room with a few chairs and a bathroom attached. They should at least hang up a disco ball.)